Welcome to another fantastical edition of the world renowned and Video Game Awards winning BBC!
Today, we are all celebrating a dear member of our community. This member has sacrificed everything he has in order to make another one of us happy. The tale is long and beautiful. He is godly. So please read along.
Our sweet Dunky, our little brother, was sad, so sad. He didn’t have an Xbox Series X. He couldn’t see the chickens on Big Team Battle. He had to make us wait eternal load times instead of letting us play.
He tried, multiple times, to buy a Series X. But he was too slow. Super slow. And lazy. Always asleep whenever they were up for grabs. He had no hope. He was never going to get one. But then Dunky thought, “What if I just become a homosexual and I settle for a Series S?” Then came Alex. After seeing him fail time after time, and not wanting him to become gay, he did his best and got him a Series X!
But Alex’s best was nowhere near good enough! Dunky wanted a Halo Series X! The Xbox of true Halo fans! If you don’t have one, you are nothing! You are scum! Dunky had to have it!
So ELUNO, better known as Lunny since everyone wuvz him, sacrificed himself. He did his absolute best to get Dunky his most beloved wish. Lunny could have made hundreds of thousands of dollars selling this precious item, but no, he had to make Dunky happy. He had to get the object of Dunky’s desire.
Lunny delivered! Many others would have stolen his money and shipped him nothing or a jar full of farts! Lunny is truly the hero we need, but we certainly don’t deserve him! We are so proud of him and wuv him so much!
I mean, how could you not? Look at Dunky opening his new Xbox. If this isn’t true real-life happiness, I don’t know what it is!
The problem is that now Dunky wuvz Lunny a little too much! Bad Dunky!
Now comment below and enjoy! And remember, Craggy is always with you! <3
